Yesterday my husband and I celebrated 12 years of wedded bliss.
My dad and his family were watching our kids while we celebrated with massages, mani’s, pedi’s and dinner so when we were done, we went back to pick them up. While chatting with my dad, he sarcastically asked us how many of the 12 years have been happy. I was jokingly going to say “1 year” but my hubby responded before me and said “13” (I know. He’s a keeper) but that got me thinking (which can be scary).
Thankfully we really have been happy. Yes, we argue. Yes, we have been through major life changes and dealt with major financial hardships. Yes, there are times he can irritate me like no other (and I to him) but we decided from the beginning that we were in this for the long haul (I jokingly always say “we are serving life sentences”), the “D” word is not an option so we choose to face everything head on, together. I feel that a good part of being happy in a marriage is a choice and thankfully so far, my husband and I have chosen to be happy with one another.
Happiness in a marriage is a choice? Not at every moment but Yes! Absolutely.
When you start dating, the feeling of happiness comes naturally and if it continues and love blooms (oh, and if someone pops the question), you get married. The newlywed stage is awesome, so happiness is automatic but what happens when you are no longer “playing house” and real life sets in?
Yes, there’s love but let’s be real, love isn’t always enough to keep you together. There are going to be times that you’ll need to choose happiness to sustain the love and to allow it to flourish.
Choosing to stay happy (at least for us) means that we are…
- Putting out marriage before all other relationships
- Intentional about making the other person feel loved
- Being diligent about making time for one another in the craziness that is life
- Going on dates so that we can enjoy each others company
- Mindful of why we fell in love to begin with
- Less focused on being right and more focused on finding a resolution
- Not nit picking at one another
- Praying for our marriage and each other
- Aware that the grass is not always greener on the other side
- Not giving up or throwing in the towel when things get rough
By doing these things (and others I just can’t think of at the moment) we are choosing happiness within our marriage. It’s not easy but you know what? The things we love and want to preserve are worth fighting for. Are they not? Love is work and it’s not 50/50, it’s each person within the marriage giving 100%.
In what ways do you choose happiness within your marriage?
Yes, my hubby and I are happy within our marriage but we aren’t perfect and we in no way have it all together. However, we got married because we loved each other and wanted to enjoy our lives together so that is what we strive for…every day (well maybe most days, LOL).
you have a great strategy and I hope you two are together forever! One thing is there isn’t the same kind of outside support for marriage as in the old days (ie not too many ppl got divorced, and people tended to try to help ppl stay together), whereas now all the strength must come from within the partners in the marriage.
I think choosing Happiness is the key in life, especially in marriage, taking time to enjoy each other and spend time doing things you love is always wonderful. Being supportive and attentive of each other is something that is also important to me in my marriage. It takes a lot of work in marriage but when you love each other it is beyond worth it.
I love how you decided to do these things to make your marriage work and you both have stuck to,them. Congratulations.
Thanks!