“You’re not the boss of me”…those words out of my son’s mouth make me cringe (out of both anger and embarrassment).
Although he’s not saying those to me (because he knows better and well in his eyes, I am the boss of him…for now), he has had no problem saying it to family and friends when they’ve given him a directive he doesn’t agree with. Normally, he gets in trouble for uttering those words but not today.
As I sat at a fast food restaurant (stuffing my face), my daughter came out to tell me that another mom in the playground area had told them to not climb up the slide (which I am totally fine with because I have told them that multiple times) but my daughter went on to say that she did it in a mean way…now that I have a problem with!
Apparently my son didn’t like what she said (or maybe the tone of it) and he responded with “you’re not the boss of me” to which I believe the mom had no response to (which I am thankful for). While he would normally get in trouble for saying those dreaded words, this time he didn’t.
*Don’t worry, I did tell my kids that they had to be nice and not to climb up the slide.
While I don’t agree with the methods my son uses to get his point across, I am happy that he stands up for himself. As for how he goes about doing it well, that’s a work in progress and that’s what I am here for…to teach him.
When it comes to disciplining a child that is not yours, imagine my son telling you “You’re Not The Boss Of Me” because he’s right…you’re not. Let their parents discipline them. However, if you feel the need to say something, make sure that you do it in a nice way.
I have raised our children and now raising a grand. My take on telling others children what to do or not do is this. I will only say something if the child is endangering themselves or others. If someone is in jeopardy of injury then I will pipe up. Always in a polite tone that usually goes like this “Darlin’ ya dont wanna get hurt do ya? Boo boo’s are awful! Lets not do that ok? Perhaps it’s ohhh no you dont wanna give that little buddy a big old ouchie do ya ? That would be awful to accidentally hurt someone else. Gotta be careful . I have never been called down or reprimanded but I have been given side ways glaces. Though it may be because I am the Meme out there sliding and swinging with my Grand. Yeah I’m one of those. Never ever would I be ugly sounding to a child anyone’s child . I am with you ! If an adult sees my baby acting in a way that they could get hurt or harm someone else by all means they should speak up. IT takes a village, right? They better use a concerned kind tone and not a nasty one . NO child needs to feel picked on or belittled EVER. I am also the Meme that has that auto defense thing like a mother hen.
Agreed. I love that you are out there sliding and swinging with your grandchild…that is awesome!!!!! Keep up the good work 🙂
Ahh, the great conundrum- how to convince your child that they should do whatever they were told by a stranger while maintaining that they should not respond to strangers. Sounds to me like you handled it well (and with more grace than the stranger deserved, IMHO)
Thanks! Parenting is no joke 🙂
I would say that mother was out of line to be nasty, she should have asked him nicely not to climb on the slide and then ask him where the boss was.
That drives me crazy too – although I don’t have a problem with someone speaking to my kids, I’d rather they talk to me first. 🙂
Great article and I agree that others should not be disciplining your children in an angry tone (or let alone, at all). I had not disciplined other children at the park who were doing things they should not be doing but I have said to them a time or two, “Maybe you should go ask your mother if you should be doing that” and let it at that.
I being a nana , have gone through something like this , I am very defensive when it comes to my children even though there an adult or my grandbabies, I have had to tell parent in the past to mind there business , speak politely or i’ll take you in the bathroom( i don’t want to yell infront of the children ) please lower your voice,, but I also have taught my children and teaching my grandchildren to respect all others.. I do it like this is my space , that is your space A hand stretched out sort of .. speak softly I can still hear and respect you..
No, I’m not the boss of you. Where is your parent who is the boss of you?
Good for him, that shows good parenting also. It is good that kids know they can have a voice against adults.
Great article. I don’t like others reprimanding my own, especially when I am right there. But I agree with Sarah L. Where is the parent of the offending child?
It’s a tough line we walk with our kids. We expect them to respect teachers and other adults but at the same time we warn them about talking to strangers. It is also a problem when to many parents want to be best friends with their kids and not parent. It’s a darned if you do and darned if you don’t say something to a child who is misbehaving.
People in general can and do say things that they shouldn’t. An adult, if they have a problem with a child should speak to the parent. Often times children react a certain way because they don’t know any better. Adults should not bully kids.
Children now these days my niece have a smart mouth don’t like it but not all kids are bad
I remember hearing those words while I was babysitting occasionally…never went over very well! The sentiment you stated goes for adults as well: if you feel the need to speak up and criticize, do it with love and a gentle tone.
good point!
I totally agree with that. I would talk to the parent of that child and I would make my child be respectful and apologize to that adult for being rude
Oh, this is a tricky one. I don’t want other people’s children to get hurt anymore than I want mine to, but I have a hard time telling them to stop and be safe.