Waiting for the Results…
As I sat in the nail salon getting a manicure today, I got the phone call I had been waiting for. As she said the words I had been longing to hear, I breathed a sigh of relief. While I tried to contain it, tears dripped down my face but unlike the previous ones, these were tears of joy. You see, just a few weeks before I had gotten the news that I needed to have 2 biopsies done, one for the uterus and one for the cervix (I won’t bore you with all the details but I will be getting a hysterectomy in the next couple of weeks).
When I heard that Cancer was a possibility, my life was shaken. I’d like to tell you that I was perfectly calm about it, that I didn’t cry at the sheer thought of having it but that would be a lie. I am not sure if I have shared this on my blog, but my family and friends know, that when it comes to health, I tend to freak out because I assume the worst case scenario.
Because of that, that first week was especially rough. Waves of sadness would flood my body, so much that I felt like I had a weight on my chest. I cried, a lot. At one point I wondered how I could have more tears given how much I had already cried. Despite logic, I couldn’t help feeling that way all the while trying to hide it from my kids. But you know what I also did? I leaned into God. I prayed more than I have in quite some time. I dove into the word seeking bible verses that I could focus on when all the fears crept in to steal my joy.
These past few weeks waiting for the results, while difficult, were also a blessing. It allowed me to learn who my people are. The people that will cry with you, pray for you, be there for you (what a blessing they are…you know who you are). It also allowed me to take a look at my life and see what I need to work on and figure out what really matters (we so often focus on what isn’t as important). I also recognized that even with what could have been cancer, there are still people out there who are dealing with so much more and deal with it on a daily basis.
While I am thankful that both biopsies came back normal (Praise God!). I am aware that it could have easily gone the other way. That life is short and can change in an instant. I recognize the importance of living my best life by honoring God and glorifying Him, spending time with my family and friends, helping others, traveling and eating all the glazed donuts, chocolate cake and churros I can get my hands on.
If you are going through something similar, waiting for the results, my heart goes out to you. Know that you are not alone and that no matter what the results, you are stronger than you know. I am also going to say the following knowing full well that it is easier said than done, don’t waste your time worrying (it changes nothing and you don’t get those moments back), instead hope for the best and enjoy every single moment because you understand how 1 phone call can change your life forever. Now I am off to live my best life and I hope you do the same.
*I recognize that there is nothing “fun” about this post but I hope this provides hope and comfort for anyone reading it. Maybe it will even motivate you to go out and have fun as you live your best life because we only get one life to live.