Ah, St. Patrick’s Day, the one day of the year where everyone gets to be Irish, wear green, and pretend they know how to jig. It’s a day filled with leprechauns, pots of gold, and more shamrocks than you can shake a shillelagh at. Whether you’re celebrating with a pint of Guinness, hunting for four-leaf clovers, or just trying to avoid getting pinched, St. Patrick’s Day is a time for laughter and merriment. So, grab your lucky charms and get ready to shamrock and roll with some of the best St. Patrick’s Day jokes this side of the Blarney Stone!

St. Patrick's Day Jokes for Kids and Adults

Collection of St. Patrick’s Day Jokes for Kids (and Adults)

  1. Why don’t you ever iron a four-leaf clover? Because you don’t want to press your luck!
  2. What position did the leprechaun play on the baseball team? Shortstop!
  3. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck!
  4. What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone? A shamrock!
  5. What do you call a leprechaun who collects aluminum cans? A lepre-can!
  6. Why do leprechauns make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always a wee bit short!
  7. What do you tell a smart aleck on St. Patricks Day? You’re so clover.
  8. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short.
  9. What type of sandwiches should they serve on St. Patrick’s Day? Paddy melts!
  10. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite type of music? Sham-rock and roll!
  11. How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke? He’s Dublin over with laughter.
  12. What’s Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O’Furniture!
  13. Why did the leprechaun need string? To tie a rain-bow
  14. What do you call a leprechaun who collects used cans, newspapers, and plastic bottles? A wee-cycler.
  15. What do you call a leprechaun who gets sent to jail? A lepre-con!
  16. What is an Irish baby’s favorite song? Patty cake.
  17. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal? Lucky Charms, of course!
  18. Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow? To get to the other side!
  19. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman in a race? He took a shortcut!
  20. How do leprechauns keep their hair so clean? With Sham-poo
  21. What does Katy Perry sing on St. Patrick’s Day? I kissed a leprechaun and I liked it.
  22. What did the leprechauns talk about on their first date? It was just a lot of small talk
  23. Why do leprechauns make terrible secretaries? Because they’re always short-handed!
  24. Why are so many leprechauns’ florists? They have green thumbs!
  25. Who was St. Patrick’s favorite superhero? Green Lantern.
  26. How can you spot a jealous shamrock? It’s green with envy!
  27. Why couldn’t the leprechaun pay his bar tab on St. Paddy’s Day? He was a little short!
  28. Why did the leprechaun put sugar on his pillow? So he could have sweet dreams!
  29. What’s Irish and stays out all night? Patty O’Furniture!
  30. Why are leprechauns so calm? They don’t sweat the small stuff
  31. What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
  32. Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
  33. What is Dwayne Johnson’s Irish nickname? The Sham-Rock.
  34. What dance move do leprechauns pull at a party? The shamrock shake.
  35. How did the Irish Jig get its name? Because “They” already called it “The Happy Feet Dance!”
  36. Why did the Irishman bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
  37. Where can you always find gold? In the dictionary
  38. What do you call a fake Irish stone? A faux-leaf clover!
  39. What do you call a great photo on St. Patrick’s Day? Pitcher-perfect.
  40. How can you spot a jealous shamrock? It will be green with envy!
  41. How do leprechauns read secret messages? With a decoder Sham-Ring
  42. How does a leprechaun work out? By pushing his luck
  43. Why was the leprechaun a good listener? He was all ears
  44. Why did the leprechaun cross the road on red? To get to the pot of gold faster!
  45. What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patrick’s Day? You’re very clover!
  46. What’s the best way to pay for soft drinks on St. Patrick’s Day? With soda bread!
  47. How old are leprechauns? So old they remember when rainbows were black and white!
  48. Why can’t Irish golfers ever end a game? They refuse to leave the green.
  49. What do you call a party on March 17? A shamrock’ good time!
  50. What do you call an leprechaun who’s bouncing off the walls? Rick O’Shea!
  51. What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock!
  52. What do Irishmen say when you tell them Bono is your favorite singer? You too?
  53. When does a leprechaun cross the road? When it turns green
  54. What do you call a big Irish spider? Paddy long legs!
  55. What did the leprechaun say to the fairy? “You’re just too Gold to be true”
  56. What do leprechauns say before they leave? Irish you well!
  57. How do leprechauns celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? By holding a lepre-concert!
  58. How are good friends like four-leaf clovers? They’re hard to find!
  59. Why did the leprechaun cross the road? To get to the pot of gold!
  60. What does a leprechaun say about a hard riddle? I can’t make head nor teal of it.
  61. What did the naughty leprechaun get for Christmas? A pot of coal
  62. Why did the leprechaun apply for a job as a chef? He wanted to make sure everything was Irish-stew-perb!
  63. Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup? Because he already had a pot of gold
  64. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? Because regular rocks are too heavy!
  65. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite type of pie? Goldenberry
  66. Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day? Because they’re already wearing green!
  67. Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins? Because they’re green!
  68. What is a nuahcerpel? Leprechaun spelled backward.
  69. What did the Irish referee say when the soccer match ended? Game clover.
  70. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite type of potato? A Gold-en baked potato
  71. Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold? They like to “go” first-class.
  72. Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would make it too farty!
  73. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line!
  74. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite mode of transportation? A cloverboard!
  75. How do leprechauns post their pictures? On Insta-Sham
  76. What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland? Grape Britain.
  77. What did one shamrock say to the other when it saw a leprechaun? Look clover there.
  78. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? Because he couldn’t afford plane fare!
  79. Where do leprechauns sit to relax? Shamrocking Chairs
  80. Why are leprechauns hard to get along with? They are short-tempered!
  81. What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!
  82. What did one Irish ghost say to the other Irish ghost? Top O’ the moaning to you!
  83. How do you greet a leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day? With a shamrock shake!
  84. Why did the leprechaun walk out of the house? He wanted to sit on the Paddy O’!
  85. What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
  86. What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation? A lot of small talk
  87. What kind of baseball do leprechauns play? Little League
  88. What do leprechauns say before they start a race? “Ready, Set, Gold!”
  89. What do leprechauns use when they need to freshen up their breath? Sham Mints
  90. How did the leprechaun get to the moon? In a Shamrocket
  91. Why do leprechauns recycle? They like to go green!
  92. How does a leprechaun get around town? With a little Irish luck!
  93. What do leprechauns use to buy candy from the vending machine? Lepre-coins
  94. What does a leprechaun call his grandparents? Gold-ma and Gold-pa
  95. Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? To keep from falling into the stew.
  96. Why don’t you ever play hide and seek with a leprechaun? They always disappear!
  97. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato? When it’s a FRENCH fry!
  98. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun and a yellow vegetable? A Lepre-Corn
  99. What did one Irish ghost say to the other? Top O’ The Morning
  100. What do you call a leprechaun prank? A saint pat-trick.
  101. What do you call a leprechaun who loves to garden? A lawn gnome
  102. Why did the leprechaun stand on the chair? To be a little taller
  103. What does a leprechaun put in his tea?  Green Sugar
  104. What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended? Game Clover
  105. What do you call a person who robs you on St. Paddy’s Day? A lepre-con!
  106. Who catches the lepre-cons? Under-clover cops!
  107. What do you call a leprechaun who’s a movie star? A golden globe winner
  108. How did the Irish potato become bilingual? It became a French fry
  109. What do you call an Irish jig at McDonald’s? A Shamrock Shake
  110. Where did the leprechaun hide during hide-and-seek? At the end of the rainbow!
  111. What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat? A strep-rechaun.
  112. Why do leprechauns hate running? They’d rather jig than jog.
  113. What is a leprechaun’s second favorite holiday? Earth Day because they love to go green
  114. What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow? A potty gold.
  115. What do you call a fake diamond in Ireland? A sham-rock.
  116. What did St. Patrick say to the snakes? He told them to hiss off!
  117. How many gold coins can a leprechaun throw in an empty pot? One. After that, it’s no longer empty.
  118. Where do leprechauns live? In lepre-condos.
  119. Why did the leprechaun put his pot of gold in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
  120. What instrument does a showoff play on St. Patrick’s Day? The brag-pipe!
  121. What is it called when a leprechaun messes up their dance? A jig mistake!
  122. How did the leprechaun win the race? He took a shortcut.
  123. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog? A little man having a hopping good time.
  124. The paddy don’t start till I walk in.

…and here are some Know, knock St. Patrick’s Day jokes you can enjoy

  1. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Leper.” “Leper who?” “Leper con and I’m here to pinch you.”
  2. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Irish.” “Irish who?” “Irish I could find a four-leaf clover.”
  3. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Warren.” “Warren who?” “You warren anything green for St. Patrick’s Day?”
  4. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Cora.” “Cora who?” “Coran beef and cabbage.”
  5. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Erin.” “Erin who?” “Erin as fast as I could, but I couldn’t catch the leprechaun.”
  6. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Paddy.” “Paddy who?” “The life of the Paddy!”
  7. Knock-knock. “Who’s there?” “Potto.” “Potto who?” “Potto gold.”
  8. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Clover.” “Clover who?” “Clover here and I’ll tell ya.”
  9. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Ireland.” “Ireland who?” “Ireland you some money if you pay me back!”
  10. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Irish.” “Irish who?” “Irish you a happy St. Paddy’s Day!”
  11. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Shepherd.” “Shepherd who?” “Shepherd spy is watching you!”
  12. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Saint.” “Saint who?” “Saint no time for questions, open the door!”
  13. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Pat.” “Pat who?” “Pat your jacket on, we’re late to the St. Patrick’s Day parade!”
  14. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Boy.” “Boy who?” “Boy do I love St. Patty’s Day!”

So, there you have it, a pot of gold’s worth of St. Patrick’s Day jokes to bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your belly. Whether you’re Irish or just Irish for the day, these jokes are sure to add a little extra luck and laughter to your St. Paddy’s celebrations. So put on your greenest garb, grab a pint of Guinness, and let the shenanigans begin! Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone!